If you’re in the restaurant business, you know the value of driving people away. After all, it is much cheaper, and therefore more satisfying, to find brand new customers. Building a loyal customer base will do nothing but run through your advertising  budget , and loyal customers are the smallest spenders. Nothing worse than having them clog up your doorways.

Fortunately, there are a few foolproof ways to  drive customers away so you don’t have to worry about any of these problems.

    1. Greet regulars like strangers. Even if a person comes to your establishment every week, act like it is the first time you’re seeing them. Customers hate personalized attention and relationships with business owners, so don’t do anything that might send the wrong message.
    1. Make sure there is nothing original about your establishment. From the menu to the look and feel, the more your bar or restaurant looks like 1000s of others, the better. The goal is to make your restaurant totally replaceable in the minds of your customers.
    1. Forget customer requests, such as holding the cheese. Sending a dish back two or three times is what you’re going for, and it’s the best way to make customers realize that you don’t want them hanging around.
    1. Make sure the primary concern of all the waitstaff is to get home as soon as possible. If your wait staff starts doing silly things, like prioritizing customers and treating them like individuals, they might make people enjoy their experience, which will only increase the length of the stay. There’s nothing worse.
    1. Never waste money on unnecessary extras like events. These have a way of making your establishment memorable for customers, which is something you absolutely don’t want to do. And forget accessorizing your restaurant or bar for the seasons or special events. That’ just stupid.
  1. Never offer customers any explanation or apology for slow service, cold food, or other problems that arise. Who do those customers think they are, anyway? They should know they’re lucky simply for being allowed to walk through the door.
  2. Don’t make any attempts to invite past customers back with targeted marketing. The best thing to do is to send the same marketing emails and messages to all your customers. There’s nothing worse than treating people like individuals. It’s so not worth the effort.

Sanity check! You know this was a joke, right? If you’re a sane restaurant or bar owner, you likely know that these types of practices will quickly run you out of business. Creating a successful restaurant or bar can be challenging, but by avoiding the above “tips,” you’re one step closer to success. Now go piss off those loyal customers :o)

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Customer Loyalty Restaurants